Why You’re Fat
on April 2, 2008 in Life's Annoyances
Ok before you get all pissy, I’m not making fun of fat people. That would be too easy. I’m not even saying there’s anything wrong with being fat, although we all know the truth. Hell, I’m not even here to debate the definition of “fat”. Although, if the words “wiggle” or “jiggle” describe any part of your body, then you’re definitely fat.
No, I won’t do that. All I’m going to do is tell you if you’re looking for a fix to being fat, you’ve found one. I’m going to teach you how not to be fat. Fatty.
Get fit programs are equivalent to that dorky guy you’ve seen on tv that has the question marks all over his suit; retarded. There is no secret, there is no pill, and there is certainly nothing “quick” about getting in shape.
You’re fat because you eat more food than your body uses; it’s that simple. You don’t have a thyroid problem, you have an eating more than you need to, problem. Obesity isn’t a disease that runs in your family. You’re all obese because no one in your family runs. Big bones? What are you a mutant? You have the same size bones as everyone else, you just have more fat; probably a lot more.
It’s not the media or society’s fault that fat people aren’t glamorized. Why would you glamorize someone that is unhealthy? There’s nothing glamorous about being fat. Only fat people think or say these things. Well, also some skinny people with fat family or friends, but their lying. Liars.
If you’re currently on a weight loss program, you need to ask yourself a question. Does your program have anything to do with decreasing or adjusting your food intake and increasing your physical activity? If yes, then it will probably work, if no, then you are retarded.
Ok, do me a favor. Say this out loud: “Calories In, Calories Out”.
I hope you said that out loud near someone. I bet it sounded pretty funny coming from you. Sorry, but you know it’s true. Just enjoy the humor.
Anyway, do you understand? If you eat more than your body uses, you’ll be fat. How hard is that to understand? Here are your choices:
- Eat less or “better”,
- Increase your physical activity,
- or Both.
By physical activity I mean like sweating and stuff. You remember sweating right? Sometimes it happens when you eat really hot food, or when you run outside, where there’s light, and other people. You know?
The point is, you’re fat because of you, and only you can fix this. So start now by going here: FITDAY.com. It’s a website that will help you figure out how much you should be eating in order to lose weight. There are a lot of websites out there that will help you figure this out, so feel free to use another one. Or feel free to eat another pint of ice cream, I don’t care. Just stop making excuses.
