A Religious Conversation

A Conversation between a Man, his Religion, and his Faith.

[Man and Religion are standing mid-stage having a conversation.]

Man: Hey Religion, can I ask you a question?

Religion: Of course.

Man: Where did we all come from?

Religion: Well of course, God.

Religion: Haven’t you read the book?

Man: Well, yeah but I figured there’d be a sequel or a “for dummies” edition. Can you at least tell me how God did it?

Religion: God just did it.

Man: What do you mean? God did it just like that? That doesn’t even make any sense. It’s not exactly believable.

Religion: I see; hold on for one second for me.

[Faith enters stage right]

Religion: Oh look, there’s my friend Faith. You two should have a little talk. I, um, gotta go.

[Religion rushes off stage left.]

Faith: Hello there.

Man: Hi Fail. I understand you might have some answers about where I came from, why I’m here, or what my purpose is?

Faith: Well Religion already explained all of that to you; it’s all in the good book. Haven’t you read it?

Man: Yeah, but I still have some questions. The book is a little confusing. It contradicts itself a few times, some stated events were proven inaccurate or couldn’t be proved at all. . So I’m confused.

Faith: That’s why I’m here.

Man: So you’re going to help me understand?

Faith: Yes.

Man: Ok, so…I guess what I really want is an explanation.

Faith: That’s not possible.

Man: Why?

Faith: Trust me.

Man: Trust you? Trust what? I need an answer. I need to know why I was created. What am I doing here? Do I have a purpose? I know the book is said to have answers to some of these questions, but I don’t understand them. What I really want is some proof!

Faith: Trust me.

Man: TRUST WHAT? You’ve given me nothing! You afforded no true explanation. Even when I told my friends I had the new Xbox 360 they didn’t believe me until I actually proved it to them and let them play it. At least give me that!

Faith: Your understanding is not a requisite of belief. You need no explanation, you need to just believe.

Man: So I’m supposed to just ‘believe’ you without any proof or explanation AT ALL?

Faith: Now you’re getting it.

Man: That doesn’t make any sense!

Faith: No, not to you; you’re a Man. You don’t have the power to understand. Only those of holy status can understand the true meaning of what, where, why, and how.

Man: So you have this thing called Religion. It explains where I came from, how things started, and where I’m going; pretty vaguely I might add (at least from a logical point of view). Understandably, people will want something to hold on to, to grasp, and to hold tight. They’ll want to know definitively that they’re not crazy for believing in this ‘Religion’. They’ll want something that they can tell their friends about and their friends won’t demand proof or deny its existence. And what you’re telling me now is that this proof I seek is you? You’re the answer? The only thing you can offer is for me to just trust you? That’s it? To have ‘faith’?

Faith: Exactly.

Man: HOLY SHIT.

Faith: Something like that.