Male & Female Language (translations)

Women to Man translation:

• Yes = No
• No = Yes
• Maybe = No
• We need = I want
• I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
• We need to talk = I need to complain
• Sure…go ahead = I don’t want you to
• Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful
• Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
• I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
• Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you’re dead
• You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
• Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
• You’re so.. manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
• Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive
• It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
• You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about??
• I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
• How much do you love me? = I did something today that you’re really not going to like

Man to Woman transaltion:

• I’m hungry = I’m hungry
• I’m sleepy = I’m sleepy
• I’m tired = I’m tired
• Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
• I love you = Let’s have sex now
• I’m bored = Do you want to have sex?
• What’s wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
• I love you, too = Okay, I said it…we’d better have sex now!
• May I have this dance? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
• Can I call you sometime? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
• Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
• Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
• Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
• You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you in the next ten minutes
• Let’s talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you’d like to have sex with me
• I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit = I am gay